Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
