I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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