I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't like sucking hair
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
