omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
