the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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