I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
