You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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