You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
