We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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