i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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