therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
