my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
