I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
