i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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