i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
