I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
