Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
