He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How external is "for external use only"?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
