His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
