pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We were destined to go to rehab together
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
