I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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