if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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