The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
