end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
