not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
