if only i could text you this smell
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
