You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
its liver damage thursday
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
