It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They took my balls.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
