at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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