what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
