My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
