I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
