we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
