hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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