matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish my penis had an off switch
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
