I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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