Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
