We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize