Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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