Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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