I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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