Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
