we have pet lesbian snakes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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