with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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