Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
