you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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