i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
