a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
