I feel great
I just peed on a car
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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