Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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