He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
