summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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