I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
