OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Welp...herpes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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