the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
