God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
