oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
