The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
