Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
