If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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