I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
