Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
