her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
its not stalking. its research.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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