I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
