so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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