she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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