my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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