big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize