Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
