I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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