Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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