I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
